Oh! Yeah! Did I forget to mention I bought myself a little perk? I can do this once a week. Like I said, it's my me-time.
[Jack grins. Oh it feels good to move his face. Sure, being a bot's got some definite advantages. But so does being a sack of meat.]
Just that one night a week I get to come home, kick off the old shoes, and then eat, drink, smoke, or snort whatever the frig I want! There's just some things the synthetic life can't quite emulate. I got a pizza lying around here somewhere, if you can still eat food-food.
[He waves a hand vaguely, not entirely sure where the leftovers have been left.]
[ Rhys swallows thickly, and it takes him a solid moment to gather his thoughts and respond. Because beside the sheer shock of actually seeing Handsome Jack, properly in the flesh, is his keen awareness of the smell of blood in the air, hot and cloying.
He breathes in sharply, his real eye dilating. ]
I...Look. This was a mistake. Again. Can I just-- can you just ask your guys to fix me the same as last time? I'll uh, I'll get out of your hair and let you get back to snorting frost mushrooms or whatever.
[Jack lifts one heavy eyebrow, tilting his head to give Rhys a skeptical look.]
Look at me. I'm in my pajamas. Do I look like a guy who's the least bit inclined to make you friggin dinner right now? Cuz I'm not. This is why ya gotta call ahead. Not to mention that you showing up just cuz you need something? Not cool, Rhys.
[He retrieves his smoldering joint from the ashtray on his side table, inhaling deeply to emphasize his point. He's relaxing. He's off the clock. He's not sending one of his guards to go murder Rhys a snack, especially when he's the one who'd have to prepare it.]
[ He takes a second to lean on the doorframe with one hand, runs a hand back through his hair. He can feel the sweat starting to prickle at the back of his neck but doesn't know if that's from the warmth of the fireplace or withdrawl. ]
Didn't one of your guys do it last time? Ask them.
[ He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself and his thoughts amidst the small but persistent voice reminding him there's a human filled with-- uhhhhgh-- blood right there. ]
Look, sorry for no forward notice but this is a last resort.
One of my guys killed a dude. I turned the dude into a smoothie for you. You think the dudes that guard my door know how to make people smoothies? They're just praying every night they don't end up one themselves!
[Jack throws up his hands, shaking his head. He does not need this annoyance. He really doesn't.]
Oh, yeah, that makes a guy really inclined to help, knowing he's a last resort. You're really bad at what getting what you want, kiddo. Ugh, alright, sit down while I decide how much of a pain in the ass this is gonna be.
Okay can you not- [ a harsh breath, both from the imagery of a dude being pulverized into a smoothie being disgusting but also how that makes him salivate a bit (and how THAT freaks him out to the point of wanting to throw up.) ] Don't say it like that.
[ It's followed by a sag of relief though, that Jack will help. He doesn't want to come off as desperate as he's feeling right now, but he really was running out of options.
He makes his way into the room proper, taking a seat in one of its smaller but still nicely plush chairs. Still sucks that Jack has all this luxury!! Unearned!! But he's too distracted by the stream of conscious, instinctual thoughts going on in his head right now, like a loud static he can think over but not ignore. ]
Oh no, don't do that. Don't be one of those candy for a heart, fluff for brains assholes that needs to pretend we don't eat parts of people.
[Jack fixes Rhys with a flat look.]
You're smarter than that and you're better than that. Besides...what even is your problem? You're a friggin vampire, like the one thing that can just snack on somebody without doing major damage.
[Arguably Jack can also feed without killing, but really, with how leaves victims, it's better to just off them than leave them a vegetable.]
[ His head snaps up, annoyed at the comment despite protesting that Jack not talk about the whole situation they're in bluntly. ]
I'm not candy hearted what the hell? It's just gross.
[ But any further protesting is cut short by Jacks next remark. It's stupid, and he'll admonish himself plenty for it when he's feeling better, but praise like that from Jack still hits. Still tightens his chest with a sense of giddy pride, even though it's quickly dampened. ]
He sighs audibly.
I know, I know. But there isn't exactly a-- a live donner club or anything where I can drop in and...y'know.
I dunno, probably. Before there was that whole poacher mess a while back there used to be sex clubs for monsters and humans to hook up. Not many of those left, though, at least not in Bavan.
[Jack shrugs. He's never looked into it that hard, he doesn't need clubs to find people to feed on or fuck. One or the other, he's not the type to combo the two. That's just weird.]
But just...do the whole vampire thing, sheesh. Smoldering look, some smooth words, come up from behind and just go for it. I swear, vampirism is wasted on you!
Ah-hah, I’m just not uh, I’m not really the kinda guy to do something like that y’know? And I don’t think most people are gonna react well to the question “can I suck your blood?” Even if I ask nicely.
[ It’s a consent thing, is what he’s getting at. He can’t just go up to strangers and steal their blood?
Sure Rhys has been involved in plenty of deaths, and probably plenty of mailings and disfigurement too but that was all hands off. Abstract. Ripping out someone’s throat with his teeth, or just biting someone till they bleed and again, stealing their blood, is not ]
See? Wasted on you! And eff-why-eye, you'd be surprised how many humans are into the monster thing. You lucked out and you aren't even taking advantage of it. You end up one of the like two monster types that come with this whole tradition of thirsty lore and sex appeal attached to'em, and you're over here going 'oh, I couldn't possibly ask some horny human with a vamp fetish if I could suck on'em a little'.
[Jack takes another long drag of his joint and shakes his head. It's disappointing. If he had ended up a vampire? He'd be out there every friggin night!]
They want it, Rhys. Come on, are you gonna sit there and tell me you've never had a sexy vampire fantasy?
[ He… knows Jack just talks like that, lays on the casual sexual innuendos for most people. It’s probably a power thing, or a manipulation thing, or both.
But even knowing that Rhys is still into it, still gets hot under the collar at the mention of his sex appeal (even if Jack isn’t hitting on him, which… he does not know what he’d do, or how he’d feel if that happened)
And it is not helping with all the other discomfort he’s feeling right now. Every taken away from him stomping down his immediate instincts, from salivating at the scent of blood in the air.
He pulls his shirt collar over his nose, hoping it will help damper the smell. He needs a distraction: ]
….have you?
[ What a stupid question why is he even asking this! ]
You don't need to have a goth phase to think vampires are hot. Pick any random ass vampire movie and chances are it's gonna star some slinky broad in a plunging neckline or chiseled dude in tight leather pants.
[It's a whole thing. Who hasn't had the vampire fantasy? It's pretty friggin standard, as far as Jack's concerned. Biting is hot, powerful immortality is hot, leather pants are hot...]
It's the whole...you know. [He waves a hand vaguely, trying to grasp at the right words.] Vampires represent loss of inhibition and indulging in vices and primal desires and yada yada yada. And something about death making people wanna fuck. I don't know, Dracula had three wives at once, obviously he was doing something right.
[ This distraction is not helping, if anything it’s just more tedious, sitting here as he listens to Jacks history lesson, inhaling deeply under his shirt to try and overpower the warm copper smells. He can feel the sweat and sense the shakes are right around the corner. ]
Right right right- uh look, is one of your guys gonna be able to help me soon or…
Because I don’t think I should stick around otherwise. For y’know, your sake?
[ He remembers jacks words, about losing control and attacking if he wasn’t fast enough to feed and— listen, there’s plenty of fantasies Rhys has had about committing bodily harm to Jack but 1: that was usually like, a solid punch to the face and 2: there weren’t guards around who will definitely kill him if he so much as tries ]
Oh please, like I wouldn't chuck you into the fireplace if you tried to bite me without permission. Relax, you can make coherent sentences, you're not about to tear me apart.
[Jack fixes his mismatched eyes on Rhys, contemplating the dude. He's got a lot to learn about monsterhood. Why doesn't everybody do what Jack did, and learn as much as possible when the changes first start? It just makes life easier.
He could just leave it. Rhys will snap and the problem will take care of itself. Only he's pretty sure he'll be dealing with the fallout and that's just not on his agenda.]
But you do realize...you're gonna have to learn how to bite people. Either way I'm gonna start charging you for helping out, I normally make people pay for my meal prep services. And also go to The Chop Shop, not my personal home. So...I'm gonna offer ya another one of my many services, cuz I'm in a good mood tonight. Now I've never worked with a vamp before, because I'm a robot, but you clearly need more help with the getting to the biting stage. But you've got a choice. Either I teach you how to approach people to bite, or you suffer through this till The Chop Shop is open and come in and put in an order like everybody else. Cuz we are not establishing a pattern of you showing up like this out of the friggin blue and expecting me to feed you. You're not some freaking stray cat I'm taking care of.
[ Rhys’s first instinct is to fight Jack on this, is to snap back at him to not be so patronizing, to not talk to him like he’s some kid. In any other setting Rhys is incredibly competent….too competent, even!
But he’s getting to the edge of desperate here, and he doesn’t want to land himself in a position where he has to beg. He really can’t think of anything worse than pleading to Jack, he really would rather be thrown into the fireplace.
So he concedes, at least a little.
He sighs, letting go of his shirt collar and tipping his head back, face pinched. Playing nice with this man is agonizing but he’ll do it if it means he’ll feel better. ]
There we go! Teach a man to fish and he stops bugging ya for fish.
[Jack grins and sits up a bit straighter in his chair.]
Okay, first things first! Lower your inhibitions a little, mellow you out, get ya feeling less self conscious.
[If Rhys' problem is that he gets hung up on how weird it is to approach somebody about this, he just needs to be in a headspace where he's less concerned about that sort of thing.]
What's your preference? I got shit to drink, smoke, snort...but I'd advise staying away from the cocaine for this, you want downers right now.
[ Getting drunk and heady around Jack does NOT sound like a great idea. But desperate times… he’s not gonna do more than one though, and definitely isn’t going to mix it with anything. He’s had one too many nights in college hugging porcelain because he mixed beer, vodka and a joint in succession and puking is the last thing he needs on top of everything else. ]
Uh… I dunno. D’you have the ingredients for a long ice tea? Tequila sunrise?
[ He is also extremely Dainty about his drink selection but they taste good so shut up]
You're friggin kidding me. You want a mixed drink? The liquor cabinet's that big fancy thing with the onyx inlays over there, it folds out into a bar, knock yourself out.
[Jack shakes his head again. There's potential in the kid but geeze. He's a needy thing. Rhys is on his own for a fancy drink. But whatever, as long as it calms him the hell down some.
Maybe he can even have a little fun with this whole surprise plan for the evening.]
And bring me the whiskey bottle when you're done, I need a top off.
[ Rhys stalls as he begins to get up, narrowing his eyes at the additional personal request, but moves to the cabinet to do as he’s asked regardless.
Jacks his lifeline at the moment, and much as he hates that he’d hate being reprimanded (undeservedly!) and denied way more at this moment.
It’s not a surprise that Jack has a selection of probably the most expensive spirits he could find in this place, and Rhys chooses the fanciest bottle of whisky he can find. He ends up serving himself some first before adding in lemon juice, simple syrup and a generous amount of maraschino cherries to his drink before bringing the bottle itself over to Jack, holding it out for him to take. ]
[Jack just takes the bottle and tops off his own glass, then sets it aside and stands up. Like he's gonna thank the guy for bringing a bottle from where he was to where he's going. He's the one giving up his weekly special time to help the world's most pathetic vampire.]
Alright. So you're a relatively young, good looking guy who's got the attitude of somebody who usually carries a lotta scratch in their pocket. I'm gonna guess you're no stranger to the club scene. So we're gonna tap into that tonight! Do you need me to lower the lighting and turn on music, or do you have a functional imagination?
[There's only so much effort he wants to put into all of this.]
[ He hasn't told him... Jack pegged him for being corpo (not something difficult to do, given how Rhys looks and talks) but they'd never discussed which.
It was hard to keep history straight when it came to this Jack, what he knew and what he didn't know about Rhys, it was easy to fall into unquestioning familiarity even though this iteration didn't know all they'd been through. ]
I uh, [ he takes a hefty sip from his drink ] did some work for Hyperion, back in the day.
[ ...that's one way to put it. ]
I don't know, just not dubstep or industrial? I'm already dealing with a sensory overload.
No shit? Why didn't you say something, you know I take care of my people!
[What the hell is wrong with Rhys? Not the first time Jack has wondered this, but really. He maybe would have been less of a dick about lending him a hand if he'd known.
When left to choose the music, there's only one go-to for Jack. A few clicks of the screen and Taylor Swift is coming out of the speaker set into the bookshelf.]
Yeah, not a big dubstep fan myself. Alright. Ya got your drink, we got the music...For this little teaching demonstration I'll be playing the part of you. Or at least of a hot vampire out for a bite. The you that you're not letting yourself be!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-10-19 05:03 am (UTC)[Jack grins. Oh it feels good to move his face. Sure, being a bot's got some definite advantages. But so does being a sack of meat.]
Just that one night a week I get to come home, kick off the old shoes, and then eat, drink, smoke, or snort whatever the frig I want! There's just some things the synthetic life can't quite emulate. I got a pizza lying around here somewhere, if you can still eat food-food.
[He waves a hand vaguely, not entirely sure where the leftovers have been left.]
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Date: 2021-10-19 05:16 am (UTC)He breathes in sharply, his real eye dilating. ]
I...Look. This was a mistake. Again. Can I just-- can you just ask your guys to fix me the same as last time? I'll uh, I'll get out of your hair and let you get back to snorting frost mushrooms or whatever.
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Date: 2021-10-20 02:53 am (UTC)[Jack lifts one heavy eyebrow, tilting his head to give Rhys a skeptical look.]
Look at me. I'm in my pajamas. Do I look like a guy who's the least bit inclined to make you friggin dinner right now? Cuz I'm not. This is why ya gotta call ahead. Not to mention that you showing up just cuz you need something? Not cool, Rhys.
[He retrieves his smoldering joint from the ashtray on his side table, inhaling deeply to emphasize his point. He's relaxing. He's off the clock. He's not sending one of his guards to go murder Rhys a snack, especially when he's the one who'd have to prepare it.]
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Date: 2021-10-20 03:10 am (UTC)[ He takes a second to lean on the doorframe with one hand, runs a hand back through his hair. He can feel the sweat starting to prickle at the back of his neck but doesn't know if that's from the warmth of the fireplace or withdrawl. ]
Didn't one of your guys do it last time? Ask them.
[ He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself and his thoughts amidst the small but persistent voice reminding him there's a human filled with-- uhhhhgh-- blood right there. ]
Look, sorry for no forward notice but this is a last resort.
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Date: 2021-10-20 03:19 am (UTC)[Jack throws up his hands, shaking his head. He does not need this annoyance. He really doesn't.]
Oh, yeah, that makes a guy really inclined to help, knowing he's a last resort. You're really bad at what getting what you want, kiddo. Ugh, alright, sit down while I decide how much of a pain in the ass this is gonna be.
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Date: 2021-10-20 03:28 am (UTC)[ It's followed by a sag of relief though, that Jack will help. He doesn't want to come off as desperate as he's feeling right now, but he really was running out of options.
He makes his way into the room proper, taking a seat in one of its smaller but still nicely plush chairs. Still sucks that Jack has all this luxury!! Unearned!! But he's too distracted by the stream of conscious, instinctual thoughts going on in his head right now, like a loud static he can think over but not ignore. ]
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Date: 2021-10-20 04:29 pm (UTC)[Jack fixes Rhys with a flat look.]
You're smarter than that and you're better than that. Besides...what even is your problem? You're a friggin vampire, like the one thing that can just snack on somebody without doing major damage.
[Arguably Jack can also feed without killing, but really, with how leaves victims, it's better to just off them than leave them a vegetable.]
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Date: 2021-10-20 04:51 pm (UTC)I'm not candy hearted what the hell? It's just gross.
[ But any further protesting is cut short by Jacks next remark. It's stupid, and he'll admonish himself plenty for it when he's feeling better, but praise like that from Jack still hits. Still tightens his chest with a sense of giddy pride, even though it's quickly dampened. ]
He sighs audibly.
I know, I know. But there isn't exactly a-- a live donner club or anything where I can drop in and...y'know.
uh....is there?
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Date: 2021-10-21 02:59 am (UTC)[Jack shrugs. He's never looked into it that hard, he doesn't need clubs to find people to feed on or fuck. One or the other, he's not the type to combo the two. That's just weird.]
But just...do the whole vampire thing, sheesh. Smoldering look, some smooth words, come up from behind and just go for it. I swear, vampirism is wasted on you!
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Date: 2021-10-21 04:07 am (UTC)[ It’s a consent thing, is what he’s getting at. He can’t just go up to strangers and steal their blood?
Sure Rhys has been involved in plenty of deaths, and probably plenty of mailings and disfigurement too but that was all hands off. Abstract. Ripping out someone’s throat with his teeth, or just biting someone till they bleed and again, stealing their blood, is not ]
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Date: 2021-10-23 02:07 am (UTC)[Jack takes another long drag of his joint and shakes his head. It's disappointing. If he had ended up a vampire? He'd be out there every friggin night!]
They want it, Rhys. Come on, are you gonna sit there and tell me you've never had a sexy vampire fantasy?
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Date: 2021-10-23 02:49 am (UTC)[ He… knows Jack just talks like that, lays on the casual sexual innuendos for most people. It’s probably a power thing, or a manipulation thing, or both.
But even knowing that Rhys is still into it, still gets hot under the collar at the mention of his sex appeal (even if Jack isn’t hitting on him, which… he does not know what he’d do, or how he’d feel if that happened)
And it is not helping with all the other discomfort he’s feeling right now. Every taken away from him stomping down his immediate instincts, from salivating at the scent of blood in the air.
He pulls his shirt collar over his nose, hoping it will help damper the smell. He needs a distraction: ]
….have you?
[ What a stupid question why is he even asking this! ]
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Date: 2021-10-23 04:22 am (UTC)[It's a whole thing. Who hasn't had the vampire fantasy? It's pretty friggin standard, as far as Jack's concerned. Biting is hot, powerful immortality is hot, leather pants are hot...]
It's the whole...you know. [He waves a hand vaguely, trying to grasp at the right words.] Vampires represent loss of inhibition and indulging in vices and primal desires and yada yada yada. And something about death making people wanna fuck. I don't know, Dracula had three wives at once, obviously he was doing something right.
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Date: 2021-10-23 05:05 am (UTC)Right right right- uh look, is one of your guys gonna be able to help me soon or…
Because I don’t think I should stick around otherwise. For y’know, your sake?
[ He remembers jacks words, about losing control and attacking if he wasn’t fast enough to feed and— listen, there’s plenty of fantasies Rhys has had about committing bodily harm to Jack but 1: that was usually like, a solid punch to the face and 2: there weren’t guards around who will definitely kill him if he so much as tries ]
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Date: 2021-10-23 04:21 pm (UTC)[Jack fixes his mismatched eyes on Rhys, contemplating the dude. He's got a lot to learn about monsterhood. Why doesn't everybody do what Jack did, and learn as much as possible when the changes first start? It just makes life easier.
He could just leave it. Rhys will snap and the problem will take care of itself. Only he's pretty sure he'll be dealing with the fallout and that's just not on his agenda.]
But you do realize...you're gonna have to learn how to bite people. Either way I'm gonna start charging you for helping out, I normally make people pay for my meal prep services. And also go to The Chop Shop, not my personal home. So...I'm gonna offer ya another one of my many services, cuz I'm in a good mood tonight. Now I've never worked with a vamp before, because I'm a robot, but you clearly need more help with the getting to the biting stage. But you've got a choice. Either I teach you how to approach people to bite, or you suffer through this till The Chop Shop is open and come in and put in an order like everybody else. Cuz we are not establishing a pattern of you showing up like this out of the friggin blue and expecting me to feed you. You're not some freaking stray cat I'm taking care of.
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Date: 2021-10-23 05:33 pm (UTC)But he’s getting to the edge of desperate here, and he doesn’t want to land himself in a position where he has to beg. He really can’t think of anything worse than pleading to Jack, he really would rather be thrown into the fireplace.
So he concedes, at least a little.
He sighs, letting go of his shirt collar and tipping his head back, face pinched. Playing nice with this man is agonizing but he’ll do it if it means he’ll feel better. ]
Fine….fine. Show me the ropes.
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Date: 2021-10-23 05:50 pm (UTC)[Jack grins and sits up a bit straighter in his chair.]
Okay, first things first! Lower your inhibitions a little, mellow you out, get ya feeling less self conscious.
[If Rhys' problem is that he gets hung up on how weird it is to approach somebody about this, he just needs to be in a headspace where he's less concerned about that sort of thing.]
What's your preference? I got shit to drink, smoke, snort...but I'd advise staying away from the cocaine for this, you want downers right now.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-23 06:48 pm (UTC)Uh… I dunno. D’you have the ingredients for a long ice tea? Tequila sunrise?
[ He is also extremely Dainty about his drink selection but they taste good so shut up]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 05:07 am (UTC)[Jack shakes his head again. There's potential in the kid but geeze. He's a needy thing. Rhys is on his own for a fancy drink. But whatever, as long as it calms him the hell down some.
Maybe he can even have a little fun with this whole surprise plan for the evening.]
And bring me the whiskey bottle when you're done, I need a top off.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 03:45 pm (UTC)Jacks his lifeline at the moment, and much as he hates that he’d hate being reprimanded (undeservedly!) and denied way more at this moment.
It’s not a surprise that Jack has a selection of probably the most expensive spirits he could find in this place, and Rhys chooses the fanciest bottle of whisky he can find. He ends up serving himself some first before adding in lemon juice, simple syrup and a generous amount of maraschino cherries to his drink before bringing the bottle itself over to Jack, holding it out for him to take. ]
Here, you’re welcome.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 05:04 pm (UTC)Alright. So you're a relatively young, good looking guy who's got the attitude of somebody who usually carries a lotta scratch in their pocket. I'm gonna guess you're no stranger to the club scene. So we're gonna tap into that tonight! Do you need me to lower the lighting and turn on music, or do you have a functional imagination?
[There's only so much effort he wants to put into all of this.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 08:09 pm (UTC)Also he’s not listening to Jack calling him good looking he’s not hearing it, he’s not falling for that again.
Rhys just snorts at Jacks suggestion, knocking back a swig of his drink and catching a couple of the cherries in his teeth. ]
Pfft, like you have any of the hits from the Helios clubs in this place. Can anything on this island even play mp8’s?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-05 08:19 pm (UTC)[His own, catered to Jack's own tastes, but that just means it's really good music!
He wanders over to a bookshelf full of books he never touches and pulls out his mp player.]
What's your musical poison? I got all the classics.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-05 08:31 pm (UTC)[ He hasn't told him... Jack pegged him for being corpo (not something difficult to do, given how Rhys looks and talks) but they'd never discussed which.
It was hard to keep history straight when it came to this Jack, what he knew and what he didn't know about Rhys, it was easy to fall into unquestioning familiarity even though this iteration didn't know all they'd been through. ]
I uh, [ he takes a hefty sip from his drink ] did some work for Hyperion, back in the day.
[ ...that's one way to put it. ]
I don't know, just not dubstep or industrial? I'm already dealing with a sensory overload.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-06 01:24 am (UTC)[What the hell is wrong with Rhys? Not the first time Jack has wondered this, but really. He maybe would have been less of a dick about lending him a hand if he'd known.
When left to choose the music, there's only one go-to for Jack. A few clicks of the screen and Taylor Swift is coming out of the speaker set into the bookshelf.]
Yeah, not a big dubstep fan myself. Alright. Ya got your drink, we got the music...For this little teaching demonstration I'll be playing the part of you. Or at least of a hot vampire out for a bite. The you that you're not letting yourself be!
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From:5million years late u_u
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